Marriage … it’s not for everyone …

I’ve seen parents smiling and bragging on their 8 or 10 or 12 year old kid being in a relationship as if somehow their kid is better than yours if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend earlier. I’ve had people condescend to me when my child has chosen not to date or pursue a love interest. I could almost hear them say, “Well that’s just not natural.” 

Acceptance of the homosexual relationship has recently come into vogue, but is the choice not to have an intimate relationship acceptable?  Society pressure toward intimate relationships is tremendous. Whenever there is a Columbine or a Colorado theater or a Sandy Hook, the media rushes to establish that the perpetrator(s) had no close relationships. It’s as if people who are comfortable being alone must be evil.

There is a rush to relationship and in many cases a rush to sexual activity along with it. Slow it down, take it easy, get to know each other.  As parents, we vicariously encourage all sorts of bad behavior with a smile or a laugh at it. We are concerned with having that all important “sex” talk, when our real concern should be in teaching how to have a respectful, loving, mutually beneficial relationship. Of course, our best instruction is a good example.

New to the social landscape are cyber communities where people interact not directly in person but over the internet. Yet there is very little that is being studied or written about the relationships within those communities.  I know people who are socially shy, but have very extensive cyber communities where they interact.

The world is changing at a pace far exceeding anything that mankind has dealt with before. Inability to manage this onslaught of change appears to be creating completely new problems for some people.  What should we be doing or offering to meet these problems head on?  Does this require marriage and family to be redefined?  We know that successful companies today have to constantly redefine themselves. Does the same hold true for families?


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