The strength to survive …

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”  — Mahatma Gandhi

Have you faced any real difficulties in your marriage?  Something that you never thought you would have to deal with in your lifetime?  Maybe a health crisis, an unexpected event, a financial crisis, something that really challenged you down to your soul?  If you have been married any time at all, I’ll bet you have.

How did the two of you handle it?  Did it tighten the bond or did it nearly finish you?  If nothing else, I’m sure it taught you things about each other that you never knew before, maybe things about the way you were raised. Maybe a parent stepped in to help out, or maybe one stepped in to take control.

When a marriage takes place, a new family is formed, but the family you come from does not end. It continues to play a role in the new family that is formed. The new family has to define its boundaries with the old family even as the couple defines their boundaries with each other.  This is an ongoing process throughout your marriage, and if you have a good marriage, you will teach each other.

If your family is so lucky, there will be children and you will be given the opportunity to make mistakes with them, just like your parents made mistakes with you.  You have to take a test and be licensed to drive a car, but anyone can have a kid. When you take on that role of a mom or dad (or in some cases both), you need to learn all you can about how a child develops and what you can do at every stage to give them the best chance for surviving this life. Isn’t that what you wanted your parents to do for you?  Read on …


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