If you have ever read the prospectus of a mutual fund, you will usually find a disclaimer to this effect right after the historical financial data. For people, it would not be a bad thing to have tattooed across their foreheads.
The courtship was wonderful. He was chivalrous, kind, protective. She was lovely, sweet, adoring. They enjoyed each other’s company, and the chemistry was right. The progression to marriage seemed so natural.
For some, the wedding seems to have flipped a switch. For others, it may take longer or be a slow degeneration away from behavior that drew the two together in the first place. Past results are no guarantee of future behavior.
Some children look at their parents and all of the fussing and fuming and fighting that goes on, and they wonder how those two people ever got together in the first place. For many of those children, since the fussing and fighting seems to be over them, they think that the parents would fall in love again if the kids just weren’t around. It’s a silly notion, but kids just want their parents to be happy.
Family and home are often interpreted as being the “safe haven”, the place where you can let your hair down. You don’t have to stand on pretense here. You can vent out the frustrations of the day. Except when those frustrations are being transferred to a spouse or child, and the venting takes the form of personal and sometimes physical attacks.
You can’t yell at the boss, so you yell at your spouse and kick the dog. You’re really still pissed at that guy who cut you off in traffic, and now your kid’s toy is right where you want to walk. And often because home is the “safe haven” where you discharge your anger, you begin treating the people there, the ones you love, worse than you treat total strangers.
It’s all about being aware of your feelings, your emotions, and letting go of them before you walk into your safe haven so you can keep that place safe … or risk losing it.